College: Thoughts

There are just days left to the biggest change in my life. Days. Not weeks, days.

College. It’s funny how that one word can unleash a plethora of feelings. Excitement, nervousness, happiness, fear, hesitation, courage, and the general racing of the heart. Its an exhilarating thought! It’s a dream and a reality.

Is it easy, leaving behind everything you know? Going to a new city, meeting new people, making new friends? They tell me it’s the hub of all activity, an adventure of it’s own. I haven’t yet met one person who doesn’t look back on their college years fondly, reminiscing the time gone by. And yet, would I not miss leaving an old life behind? Friends, that had promised to be there forever? I know the endless nagging would end…. but they tell me I’d miss it.

Perhaps it’s a test. A first step into the “big bad world”. A test of will, of patience, of friendship, of ties. A world of opportunities, a window to life.

Equality? Yeah right

Every once in a while you learn new lessons. Lessons that burst the little bubble you have been living in. Lessons that show you the reality of life, no matter how ideal you wish life was.

(Disclaimer: This is not a post about poverty, a lot has been said on the subject. I don’t think I could add anything new.)

I learned such a lesson today. It was not a pleasant one. I realized that no matter how advanced our society becomes, no matter the progresses in technology, no matter what the constitution says; no one is ever equal. I have always liked to believe that everyone, no matter how rich or poor, coming from whatever background, enjoys the same rights. The right to live, to eat, to speak, to use public resources; these rights are for everyone. But as it turns out, they are not. 

Let me narrate a little incident for you. It was a very busy road during rush hour. It was wonder how cars could move at all on this road. And yet, today, it was empty. Not one vehicle in sight, not even a pedestrian. While I was wondering at this marvel, I heard the gruffy voice of a policeman call out to me. “Get off the footpath and into the trees”, he said. “What?!”, I thought, and continued walking. Another policeman from the opposite direction came and tried to usher me into the trees. By now I had realized that there was VIP movement and the police and army was clearing the roads. I tried to reason with him, tell him I was late for school and needed to get there to collect important documents. It was the reply of this policeman that infuriated me. “There is PM movement and all you care about is your stupid school?”, he said to me.

Well, what else am I supposed to care about? That some guy is going to the airport with his brigade of bodyguards? Even if this ‘some guy’ does happen to be the prime minister, what give him the right to bring city life to a halt? I had to wait another half an hour before his highness Mr, PM graced us with his platoon of black cars. I was angry, and so were more than a hundred other pedestrians who had been stranded, unable to go about their daily work. There were workmen, late for their jobs, professionals, trying to reach the office on time, and it seemed Mr.PM did not care about any of them. All that mattered was, ‘his security’. 

Have we really reached a junction where elected representatives do not care about the people who elected them? (I just realized how hopeful and funny that sounds). Are they so distrustful, that they don’t want to even see the people who elected them? So paranoid, that they fear getting shot at while in a bulletproof vehicle moving atleast a hundred kmph? And most importantly, who gets to decide whose time is precious?

The concept of VVIP’s, VIP’s and well, just P’s goes against the very foundation of equality; which in turn is the foundation of a democracy. Why can’t, for once, a so called VIP, wait in traffic, like the rest of us? Why does life have to halt every time Mr. PM steps out of his home? Isn’t the public who elected him just as important?

First meetings

It’s so strange meeting new people. How do you find something to talk about? Something that interests all the parties involved and yet is a sustainable topic of conversation. Talks about where someone is from, what they do in their free time tend to die down too fast for comfort. It is very rare to find someone that you immediately connect with. It does happen, but it’s extremely rare.

And yet , when you think about it, all of the friends that you have today were, one day, those same awkward strangers you hesitate to talk to. Your best friends, partners in crime, all were once total strangers. But you did take initiative to try to talk to them and get to know them better. I think that’s what makes all the discomfort worth it. When you meet someone new, you converse. And when there’s nothing to talk about, you fill in the silences with very lame things. All in the hope that subsequent meeting would bring about more comfort, less awkwardness.

I met with a group of amazing people today, some of whom I could actually see myself friends with a few months down the line. You would think that people who plan to go to the same far away college would have something to to talk about. But I’m not kidding when I say that class related talk dies down soon. Talk about extra curricular interests too doesn’t last long either. I learned today that both parties need to be interested in making conversation. One line responses don’t help much either.

In my experience, talking about TV shows, movies and books works best, and so does, talking about genuine interests. I discover some truly wonderful people when I take an initiative to approach someone. Sure there are times when things don’t work out; but more often than not, there’s a chance that they will. 

Coming back

Procrastination is a nasty habit. I kept thinking I’ll write another post tomorrow. It’ll be the first thing I’l’ do when I wake up tomorrow, I’ll write after I come back. Tomorrow never comes, does it? Soon it was more than a month since I had last posted and realized it would be better to just close this blog. I’d have lost any readers that might have been interested, anyway. But soon, amidst all this and more, JK Rowling came up with another story on the Harry Potter series. This came as a shock and a joy to everyone in the Potter world; from fans to critics, all were shaken. Being a potterhead, I,of course, was euphoric. Apart from a taste of the magic world, that story meant much more to me.

I realized that if Rowling can make a comeback years after she had shut down the series, I could definitely come back from a small break. Tomorrow might never come, but when that impulse to write does, I can and should write. I don’t write for appreciation, after all, I write because I want to. I write because it helps me think, and I write because its fun. I’ll always find someone who wants to read, but even if I don’t; that shouldn’t stop me from writing.

I’d like to say that this experience taught me never to procrastinate, but that wouldn’t be true. There will always be something more urgent, some work or a presentation. I’ll always try to put stuff off, but as long as I don’t fight my instinct to do what I love, to smile, to read and to write; I shall be fine.

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The days just turned longer,

And you’re missing the night immensely.

The days just turned warmer,

And you’re missing the cold immensely.

 

Is there something wrong with you, you wonder.

Seeking the comfort of the dark,

Craving the cold, the chill in the air,

You’re cherishing the numbness of your bones.

 

As another winter turns to summer,

All those layers fall away,

Your castle’s rendered useless,

You ponder, looking at all this brightness.

 

The blizzards of winter,

Now turn into a breeze.

The wind so gentle, so naive,

But somehow, its all a trap that you see

 

No hint of the fierceness,

No need for a lock,

Your castle’s rendered useless,

The layers need to fall.

 

The days just turned longer,

And you’re missing the night immensely.

The days just turned warmer,

And you’re missing the cold immensely.

Death- the broken bonds

Lament the passing of the living,

Be sad that you lost a friend.

But the breath in your chest is rising,

Believe this sorrow will come to an end.

 

Don’t pity the passing of the dead,

A soul that’s so free again.

Your face so red, your heart that bled,

Don’t cry for the soul that the mother regain.

 

Imagine instead an open field,

And in it a shady bower,

Fill it with beauties your mind can yield,

Make it great, do not cower.

 

It may be here that your friend will go,

So uncertain is death, you may never know.

 

For who can follow the flight of the soul?

That too whose bond just broke,

Agreed, they left behind a gaping hole,

But think of the spirit that just awoke.

 

Unrestrained, they fly,

In your heart forever they shall lie,

All they ask for is a memory,

After all, your tears are no remedy.

The lone flower

 A lone flower,

Swaying in the wind,

It’s a world of grey,

And yet it lives.

Look at the bloodless red,

Dancing upon its petals,

Look at the greens,

That make the bed prosperous.

I wonder at,

Its roots upon a grave,

A symbol of life,

Of all we can save.

Looking at the flower,

It gives me pleasure,

That this rocky domain,

Can yield such a treasure.

Dare?

How happy would you be,

At the face of uncertainty?

When your life needs change,

When you’re about to take that leap of faith.

 

When the known suddenly disappears,

And you cant see what’s next,

When your heart beats a little faster,

Is it excitement? or is it dread?

 

When you expect a bright and sunny morning,

But you get the fog instead,

Would you venture into the unknown?

Or would you wait for a perfect date?

 

When you know your life needs change,

But you’re to afraid to take a step,

I’d say the fog is a good place to start,

Be excited, it might bring a change of heart.

 

When the night brings in a storm,

Do you shut your doors tight?

Or do you grab an umbrella,

And head straight out into the night.

 

The night is not to be afraid of,

The storms come and go,

Faith is all you need to have,

For in adversity you will grow.